


Beating Hearts & Wondering Hands.

by codepink



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 08:35:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11204334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/codepink/pseuds/codepink
Summary: Baekhyun hates people and Chanyeol loves Baekhyun.





	Beating Hearts & Wondering Hands.

Baekhyun's phone dings as he receives yet another text message from Junmyeon, the message going ignored like all the others. Baekhyun already knows what they are all going to say. Junmyeon has been texting him all night about a party at a frat house on campus, the other side of campus. The dark side of campus.

This is the only thing his friend has been able to talk about for the past two days. Discussing what to wear, what to bring and more importantly  _who_  to bring. Apparently, it's a personal offense to go alone even if you don't leave with your date after the party's over. Baekhyun feels like he's Junmyeon's only option as a companion and that's just sad for both of them.

Baekhyun ignores the persistent alerts blaring from his phone in favor of the essay due Wednesday. He has all weekend and then some but he rather get it done early. That way he can turn it in and not have to worry about missing the deadline or losing his essay again. Last time his teacher filed his essay into the wrong class slot and Baekhyun almost failed because of it. This time that wasn't going to happen.

Instead of dinging with texts his phone started ringing, vibrating dangerously close to the edge of the desk. He knows Junmyeon won't stop unless he answers this call. But Baekhyun has to pep-talk himself into pressing the answer button.

"Bacon!" Junmyeon yells and there's faint music in the background. "Where are you?" Junmyeon is yelling and Baekhyun already feels happy he isn't there.

"In my room. Where else would I be?" Certainly not in the dorm common room even if it was empty this time of night on a Friday. Certainly not the library because the staff have all left, including the night security worker. So no, Baekhyun won't be trekking across the dark campus tonight.

"Here having fun. You need to get out of that room." Junmyeon sounds already buzzed and Baekhyun sighs. "You can't spend the next three years locked away, Baekkie!" Someone yells for Junmyeon but he doesn't respond.

"And why can't I stay in my room until I graduate?"  _Where I'm safe and it's quiet and away from people._  He doesn't say it but Junmyeon should understand by now.

"Because you'll become bitter and everyone will think you have some kind of disease." Junmyeon laughs and Baekhyun can practically hear how drunk his friend is. "They already think you're a vampire or some other stupid shit."

Baekhyun is pale and sickly looking, his immune system not that strong. It's allergy season and it's sticky with humidity outside. The air sticks in his lungs and he can never breath properly, and the pollen makes it worse. He's allergic to every kind of flower on campus and it sucks. But he's fine not being able to go out anyways.

People can be so bothersome. Always invading personal spaces, getting in your face, yelling at each other. People are cruel and ruthless and Baekhyun doesn't handle it well. Can't handle people well. It's a wonder he can be friends with a socialite like Junmyeon.

"My allergies are acting up tonight." It isn't a total lie but Junmyeon tsks because that excuse has been over played recently. Though it's true most of the time so Baekhyun doesn't feel guilty at all.

"What happened to you?" Junmyeon asks and sounds disappointed in his friend. Genuinely concerned for Baekhyun.

"Goodbye Junmyeon." Baekhyun lays his head on his arm and hits save on his essay. "Be safe and use protection." Baekhyun warns before hanging up. Junmyeon will probably remember nothing of this conversation come tomorrow. And Baekhyun's grateful the older can't hold alcohol well.

 

Baekhyun instructs Junmyeon to scrub more hand sanitizer on his hands. Junmyeon does reluctantly and wretches at the smell of alcohol. Junmyeon had stumbled back into their dorm room hungover and with vomit down the front of his sweater. A strange cologne clung to his hair but Baekhyun ignored it. 

It's a little past four in the morning and Baekhyun helps get Junmyeon clean and in bed. Baekhyun is wearing gloves, he keeps boxes of them under his bed. Junmyeon vomit covered clothes are discarded in a trash bag and sealed off until he can do laundry later.

"What am I going to do with you?" Baekhyun asks but Junmyeon's already passed out.

 

Baekhyun watches his roommate style his hair in the floor length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. Junmyeon is getting ready to go to yet another party despite being hungover and ill just this morning. Baekhyun doesn't understand how Junmyeon hasn't been hospitalized yet for alcohol poisoning.

"You should come." Junmyeon tells him when he slips his shoes on. "There are some cute girls, even guys, I'm sure you could mingle with." Junmyeon looks at him with big pleading eyes and a fleeting pout.

"I don't mingle." Baekhyun deadpans and turns back to his laptop.

"Please, just this one party. If you don't like it I'll personally escort you home." Junmyeon puts his hand over Baekhyun's on the keyboard, effectively stopping Baekhyun's fingers. "I promise."

Junmyeon's always been good with promises but Baekhyun is still hesitant.

"Can I bring hand sanitizer?" Baekhyun hated dirty things almost as much as he hated dirty people at dirty parties with dirty dancing and stupid music.

"Bring gloves, I don't care. Just get dressed." Junmyeon pulls Baekhyun up by the back of his hoodie and Baekhyun practically hisses at him. Junmyeon lets go and raises his hands in surrender.

"I don't even have anything to wear." Baekhyun looks at his mediocre color-coded wardrobe. "Guess I can't go." Baekhyun's about to sit back down when Junmyeon directs him to the closet closest to the door. 

"We're the same size. Just pick something and quick." Junmyeon looks at his watch and then glares at Baekhyun. "Party starts in fifteen minutes and being late is not something I like to be."

Junmyeon is the most punctual student in the entire school and the awards hanging over his bed tell him so.

Baekhyun opts for a loose fitting pair of jeans and an extra big sweater. One he can hide his hands in if necessary.

 

This was a bad idea, Baekhyun can already feel it seeping into him. They've just turned the corner onto the street the house hosting the party is on. He can hear the telltale bass thrumming from the house. The entire street is filled with cars, so many cars. That no doubt brought too many people to the party.

Baekhyun tugs Junmyeon to a stop when they get close enough that Baekhyun can hear the laughing on the front porch. "I don't think I can do this." He lets go of Junmyeon quickly and retreats his hand back into the sweater sleeve.

"Just come in to meet Sehun. You'll like him." Junmyeon looks worried but more excited to get inside and see his precious summer fling.

Baekhyun nods and follows closely behind Junmyeon when they ascend the stairs into the house. People look at them and Baekhyun shrinks against Junmyeon's back, loosely holding onto his friend's jacket.

They weave until they come upon a group of boys in lettermen jackets. They're all tall and bigger built, wide shoulders and long legs. Baekhyun tugs on Junmyeon but his friend just pulls him along until they're practically standing in the middle of the group of athletes.

Junmyeon slides next to Sehun and they briefly kiss, Baekhyun can see tongue so he looks away. He finds his shoes are more interesting than making contact with any of the boys.

"Guys, this is Baekhyun." Junmyeon finally introduces him. One of the boys, a tall boy with orange hair and a wide smile, tries to shake his hand. Baekhyun politely bows instead and Junmyeon just sighs.

"He doesn't touch people." Junmyeon deadpans and says so the entire group can hear. Baekhyun shrinks more into himself because the way Junmyeon said it made him sound bad or stuck up. He wasn't really.

"I'm Chanyeol." The boy with the orange hair smiled at him and his hand hovered like he wanted to pat Baekhyun on the shoulder but then he dropped it back to his side.

Twenty minutes later he was in the kitchen with Junmyeon getting drinks for Junmyeon's friends. Baekhyun's opted for grabbing a glass of water. He holds his, Chanyeol's, Zitao's and Wufan's drinks in his arms.

He turns around and Junmyeon is nowhere in sight. He can't see the tall group of boys either, they're nowhere to be seen. Baekhyun begins to panic and drops all the drinks to the floor. The glasses shatter but no one around him seems to mind much.

Baekhyun makes a beeline for a door, pushing through sweaty bodies. Trying to touch as little as possible until he reaches the glass doors.

He slides them open and quickly shuts them behind him. The night air is cool but Baekhyun is sweating, sweater suddenly rough against his skin. Junmyeon had promised to stay with him. He promised not to leave Baekhyun alone with so many people he didn't know. Junmyeon lied.

Baekhyun leaned against the balcony railing and closed his eyes. Trying to will his heart to slowdown before he has a stroke. It happened once, took his family by utter surprise, and Baekhyun doesn't feel like going to the hospital tonight.

He pulls at the collar of the sweater but it still feels like it's tightening and suffocating him. He coughs and pulls it over his head, throwing it onto a chair by the door. His t-shirt sticks to him and even the thin white material feels thick on his skin.

Baekhyun forgot his pills in their dorm room and breathing isn't helping. He drops to his knees and grips the bars of the balcony and rests his forehead on the cold metal.

He started counting back from one hundred like he learned to do in therapy. It helps clear his head but his chest feels like it's still collapsing on itself, squishing his heart until it burns to breath. Baekhyun feels like he's dying.

The doors slide open and there's laughing and Baekhyun can hear the party going on inside. But the laughing abruptly stops and the doors slide closed again to muffle the music. The beat still pounds in his ears over the overpowering drumming of his heartbeat.

"Hey, you okay?" He recognized Chanyeol's voice. He'd recognize the pitch and timbre anywhere, Baekhyun admits it's kind of attractive.

Baekhyun manages to shake his head furiously as a chair slides across the balcony's concrete floor. The sound is so much louder than it should be and Baekhyun covers his ears, pressing his palms flat against his head.

"What's wrong? Too much to drink?" Chanyeol chuckles, completely oblivious that Baekhyun's heart is about to explode.

Baekhyun shakes his head and his eyes prickle and tears flow out and down his cheeks. And somehow Chanyeol must see them because suddenly he's moving to sit too close to Baekhyun for comfort. Baekhyun moves away and buries his head in his knees.

"What's wrong?" Chanyeol asks and sounds genuinely worried.

"I can't find Junmyeon!" Baekhyun yells and knows he shouldn't but can't stop himself. "I can't find him and I can't breath and there's so many people!" Baekhyun curls into himself more and scoots to get as far away from Chanyeol and the doors as possible.

Something seems to click for Chanyeol, Baekhyun can see it in the other's eyes when he finally manages to look-up. His eyelashes are stuck together with tears and his nose is probably red.

"Get up." Chanyeol gets to his feet and grabs Baekhyun's sweater. Baekhyun shakes his head and sobs into his hands.

"I'll get you out of here." Chanyeol extends a hand and then seems to remember Baekhyun's aversion to touch. "Come on. I'll take you home." The offer is tempting and Baekhyun has no other choice but to go with him.

Chanyeol tells him to keep his head down and stay close. Chanyeol gently takes him by the wrist and pulls him back into the house. Chanyeol pulls them through the crowd and to the front door.

The street is deserted and quiet despite the party raging on inside.

'What dorm are you in?" Chanyeol asks and finally lets go of Baekhyun. The older slips back into the sweater and hides his hands in case the taller tries to grab him again.

"Duke." Baekhyun replies and hugs himself because he doesn't know what to do with his hands.

"I'll walk you." Chanyeol smiles and starts walking and Baekhyun follows at a safe distance.

 

Baekhyun sits by himself on the bleachers watching the players pass the ball around before putting it through the basket on either end of the court. He's not the only student observing the basketball practice but he's the only one observing alone. Most of the audience are infatuated girls in tight skirts and deep v-neck shirts.

It isn't long before Junmyeon joins him. They don't exchange words because Baekhyun made it very clear how angry he was that Junmyeon would just leave him alone at the party. And how sad it was that a total stranger was a better friend than Junmyeon was.

"Baekhyun," Junmyeon starts and fiddles with his fingers. "I'm so sorry. I honestly thought you were right behind me, but when I tried to look for you I couldn't find you." Junmyeon has been apologizing for two days now. Graveling for his dear friend to forgive his wrong doings.

"I got a text saying you got home safe but I felt like shit." Junmyeon, for being wild sometimes, was really a good friend. He was supportive of Baekhyun's needs and wants and even remembered to buy Baekhyun allergy medication when he ran out.

"Just so you know I am never going to a party with you again." Baekhyun doesn't want a repeat of last time ever again. It was horrid and embarrassing and everything he's pretty sure a party's not supposed to be.

"I won't bother you about parties anymore, I swear." Junmyeon sounds hopeful and Baekhyun was never good at staying mad at people for too long.

Junmyeon watched on as Sehun made a basket and his team went berserk, shouting and laughing. Baekhyun on the other hand found himself looking at Chanyeol. His orange curls bounced whenever he dribbled or smiled at a teammate.

Baekhyun couldn't deny that Chanyeol looked good.

 

"Tell me again how to solve this." Chanyeol pushed his glasses back up his nose and sighed for the countless time. Baekhyun was trying to tutor him in mathematics. Junmyeon had mentioned how badly Chanyeol needed help. And Baekhyun was always good at math.

Baekhyun explained the equation for the tenth time since their tutor session started. Chanyeol just wasn't getting it, wasn't letting it all soak into that gorgeous orange head of his.

"I'm doomed." Chanyeol bangs his head on the table and a couple students a few tables away startle and laugh.

"If you keep giving yourself brain damage you surely are." Baekhyun said and pushed his book in front of Chanyeol in case Chanyeol tries to bang his forehead again.

"Can't we take a break?" Chanyeol rubs his stomach and whines. "I'm starving." Chanyeol blinks at him and Baekhyun looks at his watch. They've been at this for forty minutes.

"Sure, why not." Baekhyun marks their pages in the textbooks and closes them. Chanyeol pulls out a bag of chips but the librarian glares holes into him from across the library.

"Follow me." Chanyeol stands and shoves the chips into his pocket when the librarian looks away for a brief moment. He turns and heads to the back of the library. Baekhyun slowly follows him through the rows of books until they're in the farthest, most secluded part of the library.

This is where they keep the old yearbooks and staff records and the miscellaneous stuff no one cares about anymore. It's dusty and feels damp. Baekhyun doesn't like how little light reaches the back corner.

Chanyeol doesn't seem to mind and slouches down to the floor. He opens the bag of chips within the confines of his jacket to muffle any sound that might alert the grumpy old librarian. There's a strict no food in the library policy.

"You gonna sit?" Chanyeol asks and pushes a chip into his mouth. He gestures to the carpet next to him but Baekhyun shakes his head.

"It's too dirty." The carpet looks like it was once blue or maybe even white. It isn't anywhere near the original color and god knows whats been in the carpet.

Chanyeol gets to his knees and shrugs off his jacket. He lays it out longways on the floor and sits back down. He smooths out the jacket, "Sit." Chanyeol smiles.

Baekhyun reluctantly joins him on the floor. Chanyeol's jacket is just big enough spread out that Baekhyun's bare legs don't touch the dingy carpet. He doesn't lean back into the bookshelves like Chanyeol does.

"Sometimes I come here to sleep after practice." Chanyeol says and grins before shoving more chips into his mouth. "Want some?" He offers the bag to Baekhyun but he kindly declines. Chanyeol's hands have been in the bag and Chanyeol's hands have touched the carpet. Baekhyun inwardly wretches.

It quiet save for the distant typing of other students and Chanyeol's loud chewing. Baekhyun tries to breath through his nose as much as possible to not risk swallowing anything in the air, contaminants that could hurt him. Make him sick. His immune system is sensitive and very fragile.

"Are you a germaphobe?" Chanyeol asks when the bag of chips is empty and left by his side. 

"It's called mysophobia." Baekhyun says but Chanyeol just looks confused so Baekhyun elaborates in a way most people would understand.

"I was born with Severe Combined Immunodeficiency. It means since birth my immune system has sucked." Baekhyun starts. "I get sick easily. Like during allergy season, when it gets really bad, I sometimes have to wear a mask. And when it gets cold I can't get too wet or go outside much because I could get pneumonia." Baekhyun leaned back on his hands, making sure not to touch the carpet.

"I can't be around sick people. My mom use to home school me until I got into college." Baekhyun remembers how hard he had to fight his parents to allow him to attend university like a normal person. His mother cried.

"Wow." Chanyeol leans closer. "Keep going. This is definitely more interesting than math." They both share a quick chuckle.

"I have social anxieties too. Like I can't be in big groups of people and I can't give public speeches. I can't even order my own food at restaurants." Baekhyun doesn't know why he trusts Chanyeol enough to be telling him all of this.

"That's why you freaked at the party." Chanyeol looked thoughtful. "Does that mean you can never be with anyone romantically?" Something is hiding in his question but Baekhyun doesn't dwell on it.

"Not until I find someone who can deal with all the hand washing." Baekhyun passes it off with a laugh like it's funny. But Baekhyun fears ending up alone because no one wants someone they have to coddle.

 

"Go out with me." Chanyeol says over the books laid out on the table. "Just one date." Chanyeol's smile is bright but his eyes hold a lot of worry, Baekhyun can see it.

"One." Baekhyun says and Chanyeol jumps up and practically screams. The librarian glares and they both laugh. 

"You won't regret it."

Baekhyun hopes he won't.

 

He doesn't regret it and one date turns into two and then eventually he can't keep count anymore. Chanyeol never takes him to big places. And the one time they had gone to a fancy restaurant across town, Chanyeol got them a table in the back. Even ordered for Baekhyun.

Things are getting serious and Junmyeon congratulates him.

 

Baekhyun is terrified. Chanyeol squeezes his hand on the bed between them. It's taken some getting use to and Chanyeol knows when Baekhyun can't handle holding hands anymore. He doesn't take it personal. 

"We don't have to." Chanyeol sighs and runs his hand through his freshly dyed auburn hair. Chanyeol had asked if Baekhyun was ready to try to take things to the next level and Baekhyun nearly had a panic attack.

"I'm fine with not doing it. Relationships aren't just about sex anyways." But Baekhyun can hear the underlying want in Chanyeol's words.

Baekhyun feared this day. The day when Chanyeol realizes Baekhyun can't give him everything he wants in the relationship. He can barely get by with kissing for more than a few minutes. He never pictured himself getting propositioned into sex.

Chanyeol is eventually going to get tired of waiting. He's going to move on and find someone who he can make love to and not have to worry about breaking the person. Baekhyun doesn't want that to happen.

"We can try." Baekhyun says and leans into Chanyeol's shoulder. Chanyeol's going to have to take the reigns because Baekhyun hadn't even kissed anyone until Chanyeol. And admittedly never even touched himself, too scared to.

"Really?' Chanyeol practically squeals and Baekhyun nods because he's scared his voice won't work. 

Chanyeol gently pulls Baekhyun onto his lap to straddle his thighs. Baekhyun squeezes Chanyeol's hand before letting it go to grip Chanyeol's broad shoulders instead.

Chanyeol experimentally and very slowly runs his hands down Baekhyun's clothed sides and to the hem of the shirt. "Are you sure?" Chanyeol asks and Baekhyun nods. He leans forward to lean his forehead on Chanyeol's much bigger shoulder.

Chanyeol's hands slowly run under the hem of Baekhyun's shirt, rough fingertips barely touching warm skin. Baekhyun's breath hitches and he tries not to be so nervous. But it's hard when Chanyeol is so experienced and perfect.

"I bet you're beautiful under these big shirts." Chanyeol slightly turns his head so his cheek is resting against Baekhyun's. His hands wonder up over ribs and gently over Baekhyun's nipples. Baekhyun bites his lip to stop the moan, but it's too late. Chanyeol's heard it.

So taking the initiative, Chanyeol pulls the shirt up and Baekhyun leans away to discard it on the floor. Then it's quiet and suddenly he feels like he's being judged. Chanyeol's eyes slowly moving over Baekhyun's barely there abs and dusty, flushed, chest. Baekhyun reaches for his shirt because he feels anxious with Chanyeol looking at him so closely. 

But Chanyeol grabs his hands and brings them between their chests.

"You're beautiful, Baekhyun." Chanyeol smiles and leans forward to suck at Baekhyun's jaw. Baekhyun shudders and Chanyeol pulls them closer together. So close Baekhyun can feel how hard Chanyeol is in his pants.

Chanyeol's lips move down the column of Baekhyun's neck and suckle at the protruding collarbones. Baekhyun groans and Chanyeol gently stands to lay them on the bed. 

With Chanyeol hovering and breathing in his personal space, Baekhyun thinks about backing out. Stopping this whole thing before it gets too serious. But he quickly pushes that thought away when Chanyeol's mouth presses into his neck.

Chanyeol's lips trail down Baekhyun's neck slowly as his hands gently move Baekhyun's thighs apart. Chanyeol settles between them and his erection rubs against Baekhyun's thigh. Baekhyun shakily moves his leg so his thigh presses against it.

Chanyeol leans away to fish something out of his discarded backpack left on the floor. Baekhyun takes the moment to swallow the last of his reluctance and just enjoy the moment.

Chanyeol comes back up with a small bottle of lube and a multitude of condoms. Baekhyun nervously undoes the button to his jeans and slides the zipper down until they fall open.

"Allow me." Chanyeol smiles and Baekhyun relaxes as best he can.

Chanyeol pulls down Baekhyun's pants rather quickly and throws them to the floor. Baekhyun wants to protest the mess but chanyeol shushes him with a kiss. Baekhyun's boxers are the next article to be peeled off and tossed aside. Suddenly he doesn't like being this exposed.

He moves to cover himself with his hands, conceal his intimate areas. But Chanyeol gently pulls his hands away and pins them above their heads. Baekhyun huffs in frustration and Chanyeol coos about how cute he is like this.

Chanyeol is quick to undress but doesn't let Baekhyun ogle him for too long, just long enough to see how well endowed the younger is. He's scared again, terrified, petrified about what's about to happen. It must show on his face.

"I promise not to hurt you." Chanyeol licks down Baekhyun's chest to hover over a nipple. "Just tell me to stop if you want to." Chanyeol's tongue experimentally licks Baekhyun's nipple and the older moans. He's never been touched before so Chanyeol knows he needs to make this count for something.

Chanyeol squeezes a little lube onto his hand and moves it down to run a finger down Baekhyun's member. Baekhyun gripped onto Chanyeol's biceps to anchor himself as Chanyeol wraps his hand around the girth of Baekhyun.

When Chanyeol began moving his hand Baekhyun pulled him up into a kiss. It was far too sloppy but Chanyeol took control again. Guiding Baekhyun to a more comfortable kissing position, letting the younger dig nails into his arms. Because at least Baekhyun was momentarily distracted.

When Baekhyun is fully hard and panting Chanyeol moves his hand down to Baekhyun's entrance. 

But Baekhyun stops him. "I'm scared." He admits though he's trying to be brave about all of this. 

Chanyeol moves an arm under the older to pull him closer when he slips a finger inside. Baekhyun cries out and closes his eyes but the tears still come. Not from pain but from sheer terror that he might disappoint Chanyeol.

Chanyeol shushes him with a kiss and starts to slowly and shallowly thrust his finger into Baekhyun's warmth. Baekhyun can't breathe, has forgotten how to, but he wants this. He wants this so bad. He wants to make Chanyeol happy.

Chanyeol warns him before adding a second finger, Baekhyun burying his face in the younger's neck. To distract himself from the gentle push and pull, Baekhyun licks Chanyeol neck until he reaches his ear. Where quivering lips lavish his earlobe and Chanyeol stutter for a moment.

Baekhyun wills himself to relax and get swept away by the hum of pleasure settling in his stomach. Chanyeol's fingers hit a spot deep inside him and Baekhyun bows off the bed. The taller continues to press fingertips into that spot until Baekhyun thinks he's going to black out.

But all too quickly the fingers are gone and he opens his eyes to see Chanyeol squeezing liberal amounts of lube onto his own condom-clad erection. Chanyeol gently pushes Baekhyun's legs until his feet are flush on the bed, and Chanyeol lays between them.

Chanyeol encompasses him in a kiss when he slowly nudges into Baekhyun. Baekhyun dug nails into Chanyeol's back and sobbed when Chanyeol was fully seated.

"You okay?" Chanyeol sat up and the shift in position has Baekhyun seeing stars again. No one moved for a while until Baekhyun meekly nodded, scarred of his voice if he talked.

Chanyeol pulled out, not all the to tip, and pushed back in. Baekhyun held his hands when the younger started rocking. It wasn't fast or hard or deep like his friends had once told him about. Baekhyun was glad.

They never broke eye contact, Chanyeol pushing Baekhyun thighs farther apart to gain a little speed. In Chanyeol's eyes was something Baekhyun's never really felt before until now. Total admiration.

When Chanyeol touched Baekhyun's member, the older only took a few pumps to come undone. Looking positively wrecked as he practically screamed and pulled Chanyeol into a spine tingling kiss. And soon the younger followed after, coming into the condom.

Then the panic sets in and Baekhyun can't breath again. "Get off." It comes out more rough then intended but it worked as Chanyeol rolled out and to the side. When his head stopped swimming Baekhyun made a beeline for the bathroom.

He hastily turned on the sink and grabbed a wash cloth from the rack. He poured more than necessary amount of hand soap on it and stuck it into the stream of water. 

He vigorously scrubbed at the cum on his stomach and his now limp member. He scrubbed until he could feel the tingle of the skin getting irritated by the rough material. He scrubbed away the evidence of the act and any germs that came along with it.

Only did he stop when Chanyeol wrenched the wash cloth away from him and pin his arms against his sides. "Shh, it's okay." But Baekhyun just sobbed as new tears slid down his face and down his neck.

He didn't regret it. But he couldn't stop crying as he collapsed into Chanyeol. And Chanyeol just held him through the panic attack.

 

"I love you, Byun Baekhyun." Chanyeol says in a hushed whisper. They're sitting in the back of the library, where Baekhyun hates the most. Baekhyun is sitting in between Chanyeol's legs as the younger leans back against the bookcases. It had taken some negotiating and a few tears to get Baekhyun to sit on the dingy carpet.

"I hate you right now." Baekhyun leaned back to kiss Chanyeol's neck. "But I love you too." Even if the other is an asshole in a letterman's jacket.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any errors and cross posted from asianfanfics.


End file.
